Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Challenges of Divorce

One of the biggest lessons I learned while going through my own divorce was the one about what you can and can't control. Although you have previously had a lot of influence over your, soon to be, former spouse, most people realize how little control they truly have as the divorce process gets extended and more conflictual. The best advice I received was to control what I could, i.e. myself. Take the high road when possible, and bite my tongue on many occasions. In other words, don't send the nasty email response until you are really sure it will help resolve your differences. In the heat of the moment we often say things that we regret or that fall on deaf ears because we are too harsh, too critical, and not open to what the other side has to say. Slow down and take a deep breathe before letting your soon to be ex ruin your day.